One tried and true thought process guaranteed to improvie your Mother’s Day 2021 – (Lack of) Mother’s Day Parades: Why I don’t allow or expect grandiose gestures.

Happy (late) Mother’s Day to all the Mommas. I hope you woke up on your own, with a cold Dr. Pepper in the fridge for you. Or hot coffee, or you rock stars who make the healthy things. I don’t know what you drink in the morning, but I hope you had it!

As for the rest of the day, I have some advice for you guys.

Stop expecting a parade today.

Seriously. Expectations breed resentment, it’s a loosing battle that you shouldn’t have engaged in to begin with.

Does that mean you don’t deserve the parade? Hell no. You deserve all the parades, this mommin’ thing ain’t easy. But let me ask you this: do you ever stop and take inventory of the mini parades thrown in your honor? For a moment, remove the “overworked/underpaid/unappreciated patch from your motherhood vest, and think about what your kids and SO have done lately with the intention of helping you, or at the very least, staying out of your way.

I did this a  couple months ago. And it’s important to remember that kids and relationships are far from perfect so that “intention” word is super operative. I have at least two “mini parades” every single day between the four kids and my SO. Guys, thats so much more important than a Mother’s Day Parade.

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Mini Parades are my girls unloading the dishwasher and cleaning the counter after seeing me struggle and shut down emotionally after a hard day of work. They don’t come tell me, eager for praise and reward, they just go about their business and tell their dad/stepdad’s company to clean up after himself because this was a surprise for me (they’re fantastic, my favorites.. but don’t tell the others).

The Mini Parade when the teenager emerges from his cave, sees me struggling to hold a 22lb five month old and prepare a bottle and just takes him, and then tells me he will start feeding him if I need to go to the bathroom or smoke a cigarette (he’s my favorite, but don’t tell the others).

The MID SIZE parade when my SO starts cooking supper after I told him I would do it after the baby is settled. That one sometimes evolves to a Moderate Parade when the baby is being difficult and he BRINGS ME A PLATE TO BED.

These are my examples though, what are yours? Drop them below and let’s take a day meant for us to be celebrated to realize just how celebrated we are.

If you’re not feeling okay today, reach out to me using one of the contact methods below. Seriously, there are no parades scheduled today, REACH OUT if you need to talk.

Send me a message through any of these platforms

“Expectations breed resentment”

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Hey guys! I am celebrating getting over my huge fear of creating other platforms for this blog. Eventually I want it to be a source of income, even if that’s small, so long as it stays passive income, I don’t cheese out, and writing is still the outlet and not the subject matter. It would be great if you could connect with those pages and help me grow my audience. I appreciate you!

5 Nursery Rhymes Guaranteed to Hype Your Baby

We’ve all been there, and if you haven’t then just know that we love you and we are going to let you tell that lie.

For those of us that have crossed into the land where sanity rules all, there comes a time in the day where you need your infant to not be on you, and your infant doesn’t want to be held either, that’s why he keeps pinching the crap out of you and pulling your hair. 5 months old, struggles to hold a bottle, can grab the tiniest bit of my hair from my ponytail while in motion and maintain that grip. Someone explain that one.

So you’re standing there, streaming device remote in hand. If you’re like me you’ve got a Roku, a Firestick, and a Chromecast because I don’t discriminate the things that get my children out of my face with their pleas for my phone. You don’t want to play something stupid, because you don’t want to make your kid stupid. That’s not possible but that’s beside the point. You need to rationalize this momma, and I’ve got you covered. Here is my list of five baby-trancing nursery rhymes, which by definition are deemed acceptable baby media.


Baby Hype Playlist

The majority of my picks are from LooLoo Kids which we originally found on Netflix, but have since found out LooLoo is a Romanian YouTube Channel and their channel has a lot more content than the 5 episodes Netflix gives us. My SO is going to be so STOKED. I put the link down there for you, it’s not an affiliate I don’t make money I just enjoy these kinds of finds and like to share.

Loo Loo Kids on YouTube

  1. Johnny, Johnny. Yes Papa?
    • Okay, this may not be the best first example for rationalization, but for my son it’s the only choice for numero uno. We watch on Netflix via LooLoo Kids. Plus, who doesn’t love a blatant lie?
  2. Old McDonald
    • Throwback: No matter what rendition of this song you play it will forever be the standard of entertainment I expect from nursery rhymes
  3. Baby Shark
    • I really tried not to do this one. I didn’t want it in my life. But that remix was FIRE. Enjoy this Parent Jam
  4. Three Little Kittens
    • They lost their mittens, and their mom is kind of mean about it. Then again, pandemic parenting would dictate that I told my girls I was not speaking to them for the rest of the day earlier. There are no more rules. LooLoo Again for this one.
  5. Sleeping Bunnies
    • This one is so good it wakes my sleeping bunny from his slumber just to hear it. He has to see the bunnies wake up and “hop, hop, hop.” You guessed right, my friends, LooLoo for the win here!

Your Turn! Lets hear your favorite nursery rhymes!

[Not] Grateful

Discover Prompts threw me into a rage simply by suggesting the word “grateful” yesterday.

I wasn’t grateful yesterday. And that simple fact drove my entire being into a self loathing state. I could hear that voice in my head telling me to look at my family, and chastising me for being a brat. The mom guilt that followed threatened to swallow me whole. I had a rough feedback meeting with my supervisor yesterday. My production lately hasn’t been up to par, and I’m facing corrective action if it doesn’t essentially double this week. Since COVID 19 flipped upside down my anxiety has run rampant and wiggled into the one place I have never allowed: my work. I can’t contain it, I can’t control it, and I can actively see it destroying my life. I hung up feeling like a piece of garbage employee, and when I clocked out for the day and tried to settle the baby down, he just wanted his daddy, so now I was a piece of garbage mother because I spent too much time being a piece of garbage employee.

The inner angiush was torture that led to the neglect of my kids as I barricaded myself in the bedroom with Amazon Prime Video’s finest collection of soothing baby music, a bottle of formula, and an angry baby, because the person involved with the night night routine is irrelevant for my son. He is mad at whoever is making him lay down. He cried, I cried. He flailed his arms and hit me, and I cried some more (seriously, how can a five month old hit this hard!?). He finally snuggled against me and drifted to sleep, and I just continued to cry.

I woke up to my girls cleaning up the kitchen counter as a surprise and not a word from my SO about last night. This is why I love them. This is why I know the family I created and then chose to blend with my SO was the one I needed. They understood who I was and how my mind sometimes attacked me. They deserve all the props and all the love.

But, I want to revisit something. This entire episode was launched by my not feeling grateful. On top of everything that led 5o me being ungrateful, I was then slammed with guilt for feeling that way. Self inflicted guilt that has been engrained into me through my southern raising where “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit,” and the word ungrateful was equal in comparison to any four letter word you could call someone. I do the same to my children. I stress go them how lucky we are and how they should not take it for granted, because that is an important life lesson they should learn. I grew up in a family where alcoholism and addiction didn’t run anywhere. It unpacked and moved into the spare room until the next kid was old enough to indulge. By the time I was in high school I was very familiar with the Big Book and the core values taught to me were mantras repeated at meetings: Let go and let God, it works if you work it, The Serenity Prayer, etc. I am thankful for all of these things because it did not stop me from going down that road, but the path to recovery is easier when it’s familiar, when it feels like coming home.

One of the things I learned as an adult in recovery is to allow myself to feel how I feel. I have a terrible habit formed out of anxiety to push my feelings, thoughts, and needs to the side in order to maintain peace or avoid conflict. I still do it when my anxiety takes over, I did it last night. I went to bed because I did not want to continue the conflict within myself. This type of behavior for someone with a drug problem is dangerous because it inevitably leads to using a substance to continue to avoid the things we don’t want to face.

Preventing the cycle continuance of unhealthy coping mechanisms largely hinges on my ability to identify and fight them myself. Starting with this grateful word, I am choosing to allow what I call “idle complaints.” Which have been banned until now. Normally, in my home, you are not allowed to present a complaint without also presenting an example of something you’re grateful for. As of now, that is scrapped. Instead, you will be allowed idle complaints, under the expectation that a solution to said complaint would also be presented within a week, because wallowing in self pity is just as damaging as swimming in anxiety.

There you have it, my thoughts scattered and closed on how all that mess ended up being used to evaluate and improve my parenting style. Which is what I want you to take away from this, especially if you’re an anxious mom. We cannot change the condition we are stuck with, we can’t control when it will decide to sideline us, but we can look back on the episode, analyze it from a different angle and choose to bring some light out of that dark moment.

Texas Reopens – 3 reasons to keep staying home if you can.

“How many of you actually know someone suffering from Covid 19 ? If not let me be that person . I hear that for most symptoms are mild . Here is my story. Headaches so severe you can count your pulse in your head . Fever that returns every night then breaks around 3 am . No appetite no sense of taste . Let’s say pnuemonia is painful to say the least . A cough so persistent you don’t know if you can take in a breath of air . I know the economy is important . But trust me so is my life and it’s been in doubt lately . So wear your PPE and at the first sign of symptoms seek help . Don’t go to work and infect others . My worst nightmare is getting my wife sick . My mother , sister every other day with care packages and food . My wife and sister-in-law feed and water my hounds as well as ,[removed to respect privacy] . I predict this is going to get alot worst . I don’t know what the answers are . I just don’t want anyone to minimize how aweful it is to suffer from this .

-Quote from a public Facebook post.

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Take these symptoms and apply them to someone with COPD, any lung related issue pretty much… They’re dead, probably. Maybe a quick diagnosis and treatment could keep them strong enough to fight it… But that’s a big maybe in a sea of proven cases and dead people.

What’s worse? COVID 19 sporadically killing people that are not in the “high risk” category. Because none of our docs or scientists have seen something like this, they seem to be expected to magically craft a vaccine when it took YEARS AND YEARS to get the ones we have now.

COVID19 is vicious and unpredictable. Our doctor’s are risking their health and the health of their families going to work every day trying to figure it out and care for those who have it. My prior PCP is in a hard hit area of LA working in an emergency room… Y’all I don’t know how she manages it. I would have already curled up in the fetal position and handed them my medical license by now. Nope, she spends her free time in two groups of medical doctor’s virtually collaborating on effective treatments. She’s a freaking hero.

I get that we are looking at another Great Depression if we stay closed down, but we know how to get through that even if it ain’t pretty. We don’t KNOW what this virus is doing, how it works and about the time we figure it out… That MF will probably mutate because this shit show is too wild to not have a sequel.

Okay – So I promised ya’ll  some reasons via the title, and I feel I’ve provided them in the above text but let me lay it out, in list form as it’s said to improve information retention.

We need to give our scientific community time to figure this out. Doing our part by slowing the spread of the virus will ease the burden on them clinically, so more research and case review can be done. 

Our country did a BOMB ASS job in a lot of areas when we were forced to go virtual. We need to build on that momentum, because I guarantee you if we continue to work remotely and our amazing tech community is free to live up to their potential.. Great Depression Who?! I’m just saying. 

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’m terrified. We have to actually enjoy our lives without COVID 19 standing in the corner being all weird and stalker-y. Otherwise there is no point. 

  • We need to give our scientific community time to figure this out. Doing our part by slowing the spread of the virus will ease the burden on them clinically, so more research and case review can be done. 
  • Our country did a BOMB ASS job in a lot of areas when we were forced to go virtual. We need to build on that momentum, because I guarantee you if we continue to work remotely and our amazing tech community is free to live up to their potential.. Great Depression Who?! I’m just saying. 
  • I don’t know about ya’ll, but I’m terrified. We have to actually enjoy our lives without COVID 19 standing in the corner being all weird and stalker-y. Otherwise there is no point. 

Rather than hurry to reopen, HURRY TO GET MORE AID TO THE PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR INCOME. Not everyone, we can’t just be getting free money all the time because I like my dollar being worth what it is now. But the self-employed beauty industry professionals, yeah they need help like three weeks ago. Anyone of that nature or unemployed needs full benefits.

Check on your friends and family, don’t forget depression didn’t go away because our survival is being threatened. Imagine that your own brain is always trying to take you out. Send that text, make the phone call, it’s worth it. 

If you are not ok and want to talk to someone about it:

I respond to every response received. I don’t have a list of resources for you. I don’t even have the ability to change your situation. But I care about you and I will listen (or read cause who liked to talk out loud anymore, especially mom’s. If we are alone, the kids are asleep. We can’t be risking them finding out about our alone time). 

Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Stay home. Stay safe. Y’all are already acting stupid on the roads.